Me and My Friend Barney (WEEK VIII RP #3)

[Vote For UWE at Wrestling R Us Top 100 EFeds]

(We are back from a commercial and at the broadcast table with the UWE commentating team, made up of Alex King and Frank Leary. This week we are in the hailed Toronto, Canada. And we are on the brink of a battle of epic proportions. Ryan Cox is set to take on Pyronus Souria in singles competition you can catch live only on Blackout.)

ALEX KING - Toronto, Canada we bring you tonight live, Friday Night Blackout. I'm Alex King and I'm joined by my broadcast partner and fellow colleague, Frank Leary. Frank, we can say what we want about Ryan Cox, but his match last week against Christopher Dumont was precise and to the point. Cox is here and he's here to stay.

FRANK LEARY - God King, you really like Cox don't you? Ha ha, pardon the pun you damn Jew. Yeah I'm Frank Leary and I'm just glad I don't have to sit and listen to Alex King talk out of his ass all day, but just a few hours.

(The team are cut off by an explosive pyro that goes off in the middle of the entrance stage. Sparks fall from the ceiling onto the stage and the song that starts playing is just a little more familiar this week than the last. Call it Southern Rock, or call it Texas Country, but what it is, is Whiskey Myers. The guitar opening brings out the lyrics of the song. 'Well I woke up this morning, just like the day before, there were drunks on the couch, beer cans on the floor, you know I can't pay my bills, just trying to stay alive, it was our first house, Summer 2005.' The volume is raised much higher and a few more fireworks go off on stage as the chorus plays and in cuts Ryan Cox himself.

Bo Freeman gives him his fitting introduction and his new weight of two hundred and three and one half pounds, someone's been cutting the carbs this week. Ryan sports some designer Big Star jeans and a Roar long sleeve polo shirt, styling and profiling, but don't forget the cowboy boots and belt with the Texas belt buckle. It's a Texas thing. But more noticeably, there is already a microphone in Ryan's hand and he seems prepared to go ahead and use it.)

RYAN COX - Making his way to the ring along with me, my new manager for one week only, Barney the Dinosaur!

(Although it looks similar to Drigo the Dragon, out comes a midget dressed up as a Dinosaur. But this Drigo reps the purple and green that the TV show Barney has a storybook history with. The fans find it hilarious and many of them were well unaware that character costumes for midgets existed. Only in Ultimate Wrestling Entertainment folks.)

FRANK LEARY - What the ****? Fans, I'm assuming the broadcast position of Play by Play, as that dumb ass sitting next to me has seemed to have fainted. We're all wondering the same thing, why the hell is Barney on Blackout?

(Ryan bends down and Barney jumps on his shoulders. He carries it like a backpack and starts to walk towards the ring. While he's got no hands free to high five the fans, Barney the Dinosaur does. When he gets to the ring, he drops Barney off on the ring apron and climbs the stairs to step onto it himself. Both "men" climb into the ring at the same time and Bo Freeman attempts to hand Cox the mic, but he rejects it and shakes his head, looking and pointing towards Barney. Bo raises an eyebrow, but manages to give the mic to Barney before leaving the ring. As Barney the Dino readies itself to speak, the fans wait impatiently yet attentively to see what is about to happen.)

BARNEY the DINOSAUR - Rawr! RAWR!!! RAWR! WWWRAWR!!!!! Rawr rawr. Rawr rawr rawr rawr RAWRRR! Rawr...

(The fans explode in laughter at the cute little dinosaur roaring, even as random as it is, Frank Leary can't help but smile himself the old son of a ****. While no one would actually take the time to look up what it is called, the Barney theme song starts playing as Ryan pats it on the head and allows the dinosaur to step out of the ring and leave. 'I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too.' Ryan smiles, as another mic is handed to him, but he accepts it this time, ready to tell his point.)

RYAN COX - That just happened. And my God, midget dinosaurs are **** expensive these days. But that's not what I'm getting to. Pyronus Souria, I hope to God you were watching this with your stuffed fluff ball, Drigo the Dragon, because I just proved a major point. I showed the world that wrestling fans will never take you seriously. Because when I had my own version of Puff the Magic Dragon out here a second ago, everybody including myself I believe were dying in laughter. Am I right? Hell, I could make a gimmick out of that, because unlike every time you have come to the ring since your debut, that was entertaining. That's why I make the big bucks my man. I bet Greenbean's sitting somewhere in the back right now counting all the pesos he makes each second I'm out here.

Now I'd like to leave here and now and get the hell out of this arena, but it's my obligation to come out each week and give the fans a promo of epic proportions, so we're going to stay here with me in the ring just a little bit longer. No more of that Pyronus Ilgauskas bullshit. Today we talk about why I am here in the UWE. Believe you me, I don't want to be the one to sound completely redundant, you guys will get plenty of Jowers later on in the show I'm positive. So we're going to look at it tonight from a whole new perspective. Look at me as a savior so to speak. What ever happened to the days when Chris Masters and Jimmy Rave ran rampant around here? And remember fans, there was a time when Christopher Dumont was a well respected wrestler known as Cleary, Cleary Canadian. No, I don't expect a cheap pop for that up here, but does anyone remember the days when Ty Bahr actually fought back in wrestling matches and didn't just stand there and get his ass handed to him? Whether it's Wildcard or a good friend of mine who used to wrestle here, Hammer, things just aren't the same in the UWE locker room and who expects Quentin Barnes to make things any better around here? The hell no. You guys needed me as much as I needed the business and this company and so I made my return accordingly. And I'm probably going to get a lot of hell about saying this about Pyronus, considering I'm done discussing him and everything. But there's an old line I used to say that used to amuse some of you people so I figured what the hell. In a world like today, being ran by people like me Pyronus Souria, it's better off that you...Know your place...AND SHUT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FACE!

[8FOR!3]

(We are back from a commercial and at the broadcast table with the UWE commentating team, made up of Alex King and Frank Leary. This week we are in the hailed Toronto, Canada. And we are on the brink of a battle of epic proportions. Ryan Cox is set to take on Pyronus Souria in singles competition you can catch live only on Blackout.)

ALEX KING - Toronto, Canada we bring you tonight live, Friday Night Blackout. I'm Alex King and I'm joined by my broadcast partner and fellow colleague, Frank Leary. Frank, we can say what we want about Ryan Cox, but his match last week against Christopher Dumont was precise and to the point. Cox is here and he's here to stay.

FRANK LEARY - God King, you really like Cox don't you? Ha ha, pardon the pun you damn Jew. Yeah I'm Frank Leary and I'm just glad I don't have to sit and listen to Alex King talk out of his ass all day, but just a few hours.

(The team are cut off by an explosive pyro that goes off in the middle of the entrance stage. Sparks fall from the ceiling onto the stage and the song that starts playing is just a little more familiar this week than the last. Call it Southern Rock, or call it Texas Country, but what it is, is Whiskey Myers. The guitar opening brings out the lyrics of the song. 'Well I woke up this morning, just like the day before, there were drunks on the couch, beer cans on the floor, you know I can't pay my bills, just trying to stay alive, it was our first house, Summer 2005.' The volume is raised much higher and a few more fireworks go off on stage as the chorus plays and in cuts Ryan Cox himself.

Bo Freeman gives him his fitting introduction and his new weight of two hundred and three and one half pounds, someone's been cutting the carbs this week. Ryan sports some designer Big Star jeans and a Roar long sleeve polo shirt, styling and profiling, but don't forget the cowboy boots and belt with the Texas belt buckle. It's a Texas thing. But more noticeably, there is already a microphone in Ryan's hand and he seems prepared to go ahead and use it.)

RYAN COX - Making his way to the ring along with me, my new manager for one week only, Barney the Dinosaur!

(Although it looks similar to Drigo the Dragon, out comes a midget dressed up as a Dinosaur. But this Drigo reps the purple and green that the TV show Barney has a storybook history with. The fans find it hilarious and many of them were well unaware that character costumes for midgets existed. Only in Ultimate Wrestling Entertainment folks.)

FRANK LEARY - What the ****? Fans, I'm assuming the broadcast position of Play by Play, as that dumb ass sitting next to me has seemed to have fainted. We're all wondering the same thing, why the hell is Barney on Blackout?

(Ryan bends down and Barney jumps on his shoulders. He carries it like a backpack and starts to walk towards the ring. While he's got no hands free to high five the fans, Barney the Dinosaur does. When he gets to the ring, he drops Barney off on the ring apron and climbs the stairs to step onto it himself. Both "men" climb into the ring at the same time and Bo Freeman attempts to hand Cox the mic, but he rejects it and shakes his head, looking and pointing towards Barney. Bo raises an eyebrow, but manages to give the mic to Barney before leaving the ring. As Barney the Dino readies itself to speak, the fans wait impatiently yet attentively to see what is about to happen.)

BARNEY the DINOSAUR - Rawr! RAWR!!! RAWR! WWWRAWR!!!!! Rawr rawr. Rawr rawr rawr rawr RAWRRR! Rawr...

(The fans explode in laughter at the cute little dinosaur roaring, even as random as it is, Frank Leary can't help but smile himself the old son of a ****. While no one would actually take the time to look up what it is called, the Barney theme song starts playing as Ryan pats it on the head and allows the dinosaur to step out of the ring and leave. 'I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too.' Ryan smiles, as another mic is handed to him, but he accepts it this time, ready to tell his point.)

RYAN COX - That just happened. And my God, midget dinosaurs are **** expensive these days. But that's not what I'm getting to. Pyronus Souria, I hope to God you were watching this with your stuffed fluff ball, Drigo the Dragon, because I just proved a major point. I showed the world that wrestling fans will never take you seriously. Because when I had my own version of Puff the Magic Dragon out here a second ago, everybody including myself I believe were dying in laughter. Am I right? Hell, I could make a gimmick out of that, because unlike every time you have come to the ring since your debut, that was entertaining. That's why I make the big bucks my man. I bet Greenbean's sitting somewhere in the back right now counting all the pesos he makes each second I'm out here.

Now I'd like to leave here and now and get the hell out of this arena, but it's my obligation to come out each week and give the fans a promo of epic proportions, so we're going to stay here with me in the ring just a little bit longer. No more of that Pyronus Ilgauskas bullshit. Today we talk about why I am here in the UWE. Believe you me, I don't want to be the one to sound completely redundant, you guys will get plenty of Jowers later on in the show I'm positive. So we're going to look at it tonight from a whole new perspective. Look at me as a savior so to speak. What ever happened to the days when Chris Masters and Jimmy Rave ran rampant around here? And remember fans, there was a time when Christopher Dumont was a well respected wrestler known as Cleary, Cleary Canadian. No, I don't expect a cheap pop for that up here, but does anyone remember the days when Ty Bahr actually fought back in wrestling matches and didn't just stand there and get his ass handed to him? Whether it's Wildcard or a good friend of mine who used to wrestle here, Hammer, things just aren't the same in the UWE locker room and who expects Quentin Barnes to make things any better around here? The hell no. You guys needed me as much as I needed the business and this company and so I made my return accordingly. And I'm probably going to get a lot of hell about saying this about Pyronus, considering I'm done discussing him and everything. But there's an old line I used to say that used to amuse some of you people so I figured what the hell. In a world like today, being ran by people like me Pyronus Souria, it's better off that you...Know your place...AND SHUT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FACE!

[Pyro & Drigo]

I'm not saying this because I'm your opponent, but rather because it's true.

I found half of that either completely tasteless or unnecessary.

[DontMindMe]

Jeez Ryan, I thought you'dve been roleplaying long enough to know this, but faces don't and shouldnt swear as much as that in their promos. It doesn't make ya look edgy or cool or "tweener" by doing it. If a face came down and ran down several members of the roster, past and present, I'd just assume that he'dve turned heel by the end of the segment. Of course, thats what you could've done, there was no crowd reaction noted to tell us that or not...

I know you've been away for a while dude, but I thought you'd at least remember the finer points and rules of RP Basics.

[8FOR!3]

I'm lmao right now honestly, have you two never seen a proper indy promo in your life? Have you been confined to PG WWE and modern day TNA for that many years? Hell, even ROH usually doesn't give a rat's ass about language besides a few words, but clearly you've never seen a proper Steve Austin promo from ECW. There are rare things that are tasteless and unnecessary in a promo for an e-Fed. I didn't even use a damn Benoit joke, this was not one of those times. My advice, and this is coming from me and not my character. If you find that the slightest bit unnecessary, grow a pair. Someone needs to show these guys those Brock McCarthy RPs I did a year or so ago. 

[Quentin Barnes]

Steve Austin was a face in ECW? I figured he was a bad guy that people cheered anyone. Let's be honest, the ECW crowd wasn't exactly a very good indicator of who was a face and who was a heel. They tended to cheer who the **** they wanted whether or not the guy wanted to be cheered or not,

[8FOR!3]

He was anti-Bischoff and anti-WCW so yes, he'd have been viewed as a Face or even neutral. But you're completely correct, the fans were pretty damn crazy I here. Even UFC 101 last Saturday was in Philly and those fans were bloodthirsty. I think someone needs to bring back The FTW Heavyweight Championship to make some of these people chill out about vulgarity. And for the record Drigo, it doesn't stand for For The Win.

[Quentin Barnes]

You pretty much made my point... Him being anti-WCW made him a face in ECW, and possibly in WWE but in WCW the same character would have been a heel. If he'd had the same character and ran down those who the ECW fans loved, he would have been a heel.

You're not playing an "anti-another company" character, you running down people the other "fan favourites" comes across heelish. If that's what you're going for then cool, all power to you. If not, then that's what I think "Dontmindme" was saying.

No need to get so defensive...

[Pyro & Drigo]

I was talking more about the tastelessness, maybe immaturity found in the line "God King, you really like Cox don't you? Ha ha, pardon the pun you damn Jew."

I'm sorry, but are you set out to have the better three quarters of this roster kick your ass?

[NickRiot]

Nevertheless, vulgarity may sell. That being said, you should know when to draw the line. Hypothetically, if someone in WWE (Even back in the Attitude Era) would've said to Steve Austin "Shut Your Motherfucking Face", I'm sure that there would be some sort of penalty. On the other hand, if you say something like "You've pissed off the wrong son of a ****!"...Then that is seen as more tasteful as opposed to the "Motherfucking face" line.

Theres pros and cons of both sides, but lastly, I think that the language should've been toned down a little more IMO.

[8FOR!3]

I was talking more about the tastelessness, maybe immaturity found in the line "God King, you really like Cox don't you? Ha ha, pardon the pun you damn Jew."

I'm sorry, but are you set out to have the better three quarters of this roster kick your ass?

It was a play off of the show when Frank Leary said during my match...And I qoute:

"Alex:
So...think Cox caught a lot of **** in school for his name?

Frank:
No more than you.  Jew-fro.

Alex:
WHAT THE ****!!  Seriously...old bastard...

Frank:
Hehehehe...."

Ya'll don't read the results do you? You just skim to see if you won or not.

[Quentin Barnes]

Jew-fro is banter...

You damn jew isn't...

Granted, tone cannot be taken into account when it comes to writing, but it appears to be more a negative turn of phrase as opposed to banterous(word?) chatter. That's my take on it anyway...

[8FOR!3]

It was intended to be sarcastic and harmless, obviously everything was taken out of complex. If anybody's actually offended I apologize. It's enough with the back and forth arguing though. I'm not saying this because you're my opponent, but you ARE my opponent this week, so I'm going to go ahead and say it. I like his way of thinking.

[Quentin Barnes]

I don't think anyone was offended... There's been a lot worse said.

I can't speak for anyone else I was just lending some advice on character building. S'all good, s'all good.

[Baron Von Jihad]

words like "****" and "motherfucker" can be used effectively, but when it's just overkill like this, you look like a retard who has nothing else to say.

Basically, a heel.

[8FOR!3]

**** was used three times in the entire RP...and one of those times by Frank Leary...