FRIDAY, AUGUST 14TH 2009 – 23:11PM – AFTER UWE FRIDAY NIGHT BLACKOUT EP. 8
The scene we see before us is that of Chip Horton’s locker room. The King of Awesomeness retained his Prime Time Championship against Adam Majors about an hour ago in a ladder match, which was probably the quickest ladder match in UWE history. On top of that, the injuries sustained by Adam Majors during the dominant Chip Horton win are probably the most sickening and serious ever sustained in a UWE match to date. Tonight, Chip Horton ended the career of Adam Majors. The man who he believed was the biggest joke to ever grace a UWE wrestling ring was now out of the picture for good. A man does not easily come back from two broken legs and countless other setbacks; and so the career of Adam Majors has been brought to an ubrupt end. Next up for KoA is Baine in the main event of the last Blackout before WrestleMania, where Chip Horton will compete in the Money in the Bank ladder match, along with Pyronus Souria, Effin Rox, Ace Borger, Masahide and Bryan Blaze.
Horton is joined in his locker room by his best friend Tony, as he is after every match. This week, though, there doesn’t seem much to do. Usually this time would be spent with the trainers, as they and Tony asses Horton’s fitness after a match and search for any hidden injuries. But, of course, all the injuries went to Adam Majors – the lucky, lucky sole. But this leaves the locker room quiet and in an uneventful state...Quietness is not a favourite thing of the King of Awesomenss; although he himself seems quiet at the moment.
And so, we come full circle. The series of ‘matches’ with Adam Majors began with me radiating awesomeness and dominance in comparison to his minut amounts of skill, and it also ended that way. Quite emphatically as well. I think if I said I was pleased with myself it’d be the understatement of the year. I’m in such a good mood that its unbelivable. I truly am as close to the top of the mountain as it gets on Blackout, and indeed in the UWE as a whole.
Not only did I retain the Prime Time Championship on the last edition of Blackout, I ended Adam Majors. He is no more. He’s in such bad shape and has so many serious injuries that he’s been released from his UWE contract and his career is over. I promised that Adam Majors would never bother me again; and I have delivered that promise, and more. He’ll neve bother anyone else, either. Which is a good thing; Blackout is now without its worst ‘wrestler’ and thus is improved.
On top of that, the inevitable came to fruition; I’m going to money in the bank at WrestleMania. Duke Hamilton got his ass in gear and realised that I am the man who will bring glory to Blackout by winning the briefcase, and keeping Shitedown...Erm, Showdown...at bay. Sure, he threw that freak Effin Rox in there at the same time, and Pyronus Souria is in there, but I think it’s pretty safe to say who’ll be Blackout’s main player; me. The Prime Time Champion, THE main event; The King of Awesomeness; Chip Horton. Effin Rox and Pyronus don’t have **** on me; I am untouchable. And you know what? Bryan Blaze, Masahide, Vladimir whatshisname, Chevelle and Ace Borger can’t touch me, either.
Those five failures stepped into my playgroud on Friday night, and they were lucky that I was on may way to the ring for my match. If I was there fighting them off, they wouldn’t have been coming back again. I’d have made sure of it; they don’t belong on Blackout, much like Adam Majors. Blackout is for the strong and successful, not the weak and frail. Perhaps Chevelle is the exemption to that statement; he’s neither week or frail, but he is past his best. He’s over the hill and his best days are behind him. Although, if he and Baine had clashed, it would’ve been interesting. Hell, I wish they had; it’d make my job a lot easier on the coming episode of Friday Night Blackout.
Chip Horton against Baine in the main event. I’ve known Baine a long time; I know what he can do. The guy is strong; but he’s stupid. He’s a big, dumb, incompetent ape. He isn’t clever enough to beat me. He may posses the strength advantage, but lord knows I’m the one with the brains. Brains beats brawn every time. It’s all very well being the most physically powerful man on the roster, Baine; but with that physical power their needs to be mental power, and you don’t have that. You don’t know your own strength, and when you step into the ring with me on Friday, you’ll see that mental supremacy will prevail. I know my strengths, and I know how to control them and use them to my advantage. What can you do, Baine? Bash things? That’s about it. You’re stupid, and that will be your downfall against me.
But you know what? I’m done talking about Baine now. My talking this week will be done in the ring; I can’t dissapoint after last week. I snapped both of Adam Majors’ legs and inflicted countless other injuries upon him, and at the same time I forced the most experienced and respected commentator in the business to walk out. I didn’t physically force him, so God knows why Frank Leary decided that he ‘couldn’t take it’ and just walked away before the show had even finished. Surely the guy has seen similar in his time? Well, maybe not, but my point stands. The amount of guys he’s seen in his announcing and training career that have been broken beyond repair must be astronomical; but yet, when I destroy Adam Majors he has to walk out. It makes no sense to me, but I couldn’t really care less eiter. Frank Leary did nothing for me,and I sure as hell did nothing for the wrinkled old goat either. Clearly he isn’t commited to his job; you didn’t see Alex King and Bo Freeman walk off. In all fairness Bo was probably pissed out of his mind, but he still didn’t get squeamish and run away.
“You’re a bit quiet.” Tony eventually breaks the silence by saying, “Something the matter?”
“Nope, can’t say there is.” Chip replies, “I’m just thinking about things.” The Prime Time Champion adds.
“You don’t regret what you did, do you?!” Tony asks, clearly in shock as he truly believes this is why the King of Awesomeness is in this serene state of mind.
Chip stares coldly at his friend for a moment, before bursting out into laughter, “Don’t be **** stupid Tony!” Chip keeps laughing, “If anything I’m happy that moron is out of my hair! That, and I’m proud of how I did it!” Chip is now in stiches and crying with laughter as he speaks, “Do I regret it...Ha! **** tool...”
Tony tries to scalvage some creditility, “I was...erm, joking. Yeah, joking...” He says, “I knew damn well you don’t regret it...” He adds.
“Yeah. Of course you did; I believe you.” Chip says sarcastically, “No, I’m just thinking about life after WrestleMania. I’ll be the Prime Time Champion. I’ll also probably be Mr Money in the Bank...The future is bright, Tony. Really **** bright. So bright that I’m actually blinded by it.” Chip adds with an inspired tone to his voice.
“That doesn’t mean ****.” Tony says in reply, Chip stares with a confused look creeping over his face, “You’ve got to win the Triple Crown Championship. Being Mr Money in the Bank means nothing if you can’t take the prize.” Chip thinks for a moment, and then nods at what Tony says.
“True that mate, very true.” He replies, “But I can’t see that being a problem...”
TUESDAY , AUGUST 18TH 2009 – 16:38 – MANCHESTER, NORTH-WESTERN ENGLAND.
Entry#3: Brain Training!
Tuesday, 18th August 2009.
By Chip Horton.
And so we hit a landmark; entry number three!
Okay, number three isn’t a landmark at all. Honestly? I just couldn’t think of anything evil to write there. I could think of plenty of nice things, no problem; I just don’t like to think that by writing something all goody-goody it’ll brighten up your miserable and pointless lives. Because it would do, wouldn’t it? I can just see it now on the comments after this blog...
RandomInternetWrestlingGeek1: “ZOMG!!!!111ONE!!11!! CH1P LVS US!!11! PLZ W1N 0N FR1D4Y CH1P! I <3 U!11!!11!!!”
Yup, exactly what would happen. Hence the reason why I’ve chosen to lie to you by saying entry number three is a landmark post, when it clearly isn’t. SWERVE! Anyway, on to something important now.
No, not the reason why I’m so awesome; that’d be like telling you the meaning of life. In fact, I want to declare the ushering in of a new era, but first we’ll talk about my training. To build suspense and what not. It may also annoy you, which is a hidden motive of mine.
I guess that maybe I should begin thinking about my match this week now. Preparation might be a good idea; I’ve only really done minimal amounts of traning so far. I don’t like to overexert myself before Thursday at the earliest. However, this week today is the day, because I’m dealing with a different kind of opponent.
I’m dealing with the big dumb guy.
And so this week, for a different kind of opponent, I’m going to do a different kind of training, naturally.
Brian training!
Yes, mental toughness will prevail in the contest between myself and Baine this week, and although it is pretty obvious to see that I already have the edge in that department, a little more of an advantage can’t hurt. But honestly? I don’t know any mental training techniques. I’ve never bothered before; I guess that this week I’d find it pretty funny to become even more ring-smart when facing the stupidest guy on the roster; ironic, even. So, maybe I wont bother. I just get cleverer and cleverer as the seconds pass anyway. Nobody can match me on ring-smarts, and Baine will realise this first hand.
And this, random reader whom I do not care about, bring me to the thing I mentioned earlier.
I’m ushering in a new era. An era of the business that see’s the mentally strong reign supreme over those who are challenged in the very same department. To many champions these days are those with the physical advantage, and it is killing our precious sport. Men lke me and Fervor Falls are those who should, and at this moment are, be the exemption to the rule. We should be ushering in the new era; and we are. Fervor may not know it, but he’s key in my grand plan. The clever man will once more rule over the wrestling world, and people such as Baine will become irrelevant.
Well, Baine is pretty much irrelevant anyway. The only reason he was World Champion, and the only reason that he won those other championships, is because of his strenth. He’s got nothing else going for him; he’s generic. He’s probably the most generic guy in the UWE, and I’m so, so very sorry that we’ve ended up with him here on Blackout. I really am. So sorry, in fact, that I’m going to do worse to him this week then I did to Adam Majors in the ladder match last week. Baine will no longer me Adam Majors’ replacement as the **** stain on the underpants of the UWE; because he’ll be gone. Again. He’ll be in no state to face generic big guy number 2, Cory Chevelle, at WrestleMania, and he’ll be in no state to compete ever again. I have a taste for blood now, and I don’t leave my tastes unsatisfied.
Baine may think that ‘THE DEMON WILL BE UNLEASHED!’ on Friday night, but the demon will definitely be remaining locked up in a cage. Now I come to think of it, is Baine trying to sound like that Batista guy who works for WWE? Looks like it. Wow, copyright infringement right there. Really clever Baine. However, though, as I said, the demon will reside in its cage throughout the duration of Friday’s main event match up. Baine wont get out of the starting blocks; he’ll be stuck in first gear, because I don’t plan on letting him get any offence in whatsoever. I’d be stupid to; the guy could hurt me. He wont, though. He wouldn’t know how to, the big stupid bastard. I can see it now; he’s so dumb, and we’ll also couple with that the fact that he’s been out of the game so long...
“Ummm, Chip? What do I do now?”
