Blackout comes on air to the sound of “King Nothing” by Metallica, live on HBO. Thousands of die hard UWE fans stand on their feet, fists in the air as they chant “NEW dubbya E! NEW dubbya E! NEW dubbya E!” Fireworks shoot off from the stage marking the official start of the show as the camera cuts to Frank and Alex at ringside.
Frank:
Ladies and Gentlemen, Frank Leary here with Alex King and we’re happy to be with you all tonight in yet another addition of Friday night Blackout!
Alex:
Your NEW place to be on Friday nights! What a week huh Frank?
Frank:
Betcher’ ass...
Alex:
I mean, who would have thought someone from Showdown alone would win the Rumble, but Scylla!?! Very surprising indeed.
Frank:
That wasn’t the only surprise though Alex. Probably the biggest surprise of the night came when our own Tony Daniels shocked the world when he came out carrying that Money in the bank case, which his client Wildcard won almost a year ago. Daniels stole the briefcase to cash in for himself, only things didn’t turn out the way he hoped...
Alex:
Or for **** sakes no it didn’t! Allen Marrow came out of no where, delivered that jihad from **** hell and knocked Daniels out of his boots! Marrow then stole the case, cashed, defeated Laurent and became your NEW Triple Crown champion!
Frank:
For years Marrow’s put up with bullshit from this person or that person. Well on the night of the Rumble Marrow simply looked fate in the eye and said “No more. I’m comin’ for what’s mine.” And that’s exactly what he did! I have a feelin’ the era of Allen Marrow is gonna be one that’ll shake wrestling to it’s very foundations.
Alex:
Then on Showdown’s side of things you have Blaze just brutally beating the hell out of Angelus!
Frank:
Lemme tell ya something, Alex, I’ve worked with Angelus and his family for years. Never once have I seen ANYONE dish that kind of punishment out to Angelus. I’ve been in this business for alotta years, and at that moment you could hear a pin drop! The crowd was just dead silent from the shock they were all in. Very big night, very big pay-per-view. Great way to start the road to Wrestlemania!
Frank and Alex are soon cut out as “Raise Hell” comes blaring over the PA. Fans immediately begin to boo as they see Blackout’s GM, Duke Hamilton come walking out in a jet black custom suit and his trademark pearly white smile. He strolls on down to the ring, waving and smiling to his “fans” doing so. He then walks up the steps and into the ring. Duke takes a look around while waiting for a mic to be brought to him. Official, Mark Calloway brings him one. Tha Duke looks around the ring, smiling as big as he can and raising his hand, gesturing to the audience to quiet down. Of course they only become louder to spite him. Duke plays it cool at first...until his smile suddenly disappears.
Tha Duke:
WILL YOU MOTHA FUCKAS SHUT THE **** UP ALREADY!?! ...DAMN! ****’n Wisconsin man...I told them I didn’t wanna come to this **** hole, and what happens? They send us here! The **** is up with that!? I’m Duke Hamilton! I’m THA’ DUKE! The man who’s single handedly STOMPED Showdown’s ass in ratings not one, but TWO weeks in a row!
Alex:
So true...
Frank:
Gotta give Showdown some credit. They did win the Rumble.
Tha Duke:
And will continue to do so! And I don’t even need some god damn Chevelle to do it! I got everything I need right...here!
The Duke taps the side of his head with his right index finger as he smiles maniacally into the camera.
Tha Duke:
Now one thing everyone’s been asking me is...how I feel about this little white **** on Showdown winning the Rumble. And honestly...I just don’t give a ****! Ya wanna know why? Cuz it doesn’t matter how many bones Greenbean and his brand of rejects manages to find while they got their noses in the dirt and dig through my **** and mud...Duke Hamilton and Blackout will continue to remain one step ahead of them, and will continue to lead on! Allen Marrow WILL be defending the title at Wrestlemania! In a match I consider...very special. BUT! You’ll have to wait to find out more. Of course, that is assuming Allen Marrow is still champ...after I’m done with him
Frank:
The hell’s he on now...
Tha Duke:
Don’t act like you all didn’t see what happened! Marrow blind sighted a man and stole a stolen Money in the bank case! Had Daniels of cashed it in, it’d be Daniels ass in a sling...but since Marrow came along...Lemme make something clear here, Laurent was MY champion! I made that motha fucka and in return he made me much...much richer! But Marrow came along and **** it all up. Well, I did Laurent a favor. Better yet, I did Marrow a favor and released Laurent. He was too used up. Too beaten and broken down. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU, ALLEN MARROW! So you enjoy that title while you have it...cuz Duke’s about to have you run a god damn gauntlet to keep it! Ya’ ass is mine motha fucka!
Raise Hell hits again, a furious Duke Hamilton lets the mic fall from his side as he exits the ring, makes his way up the ramp and into the back. Meanwhile, Frank and Alex discuss what exactly just happened.
Alex:
What do you think he means “run the gauntlet”?
Frank:
Hell I dunno. Doesn’t sound good for Marrow though. I tell ya, I’d like to give that Duke a piece of my mind sometimes. I know, I’m suppose to be impartial but to hell with it. The Duke’s a low-down, dirty-rotten, son of a ****!
“Ties That Bind” by Alter Bridge begins to play over the PA system as the arena lights go out, instigating instant disdain from the fans, as they boo the man that they know is going to be stepping into the arena in a few short moments. As the intro grows, the booing does, and as the first verse starts, ‘Horton sucks!’ chants begin already. They really hate KoA.
As the chorus begins, KoA steps through the curtain, clad in his long, black and red ring pants, and a long black and red trench coat. He hears the reaction from the crowd, and simply smirks before holding the rock handles proudly above his head. This posing is met by more hatred. He arrogantly smiles, before begin his walk down to the ring…
Roger King: “Ladies and Gentleman please welcome in to the ring, from Manchester, North Western England, weighing in tonight at 270 pounds… ‘The King of Awesomeness’….CHIP HORTON!”
Just the mention of his name causes more booing, as Chip Horton now slides into the ring under the bottom rope. He quickly jumps to his feet and has a look around the crowd, smugly smiling to himself. He enjoys being hated; it is what makes Chip Horton. He then raises the rock handles once more, to generate more hate from the UWE fans in attendance. With the boos still at past full volume, KoA removes his trench coat, throwing it at a ring-hand. The arena lights then return to normal, as the King crouches down in the corner, eagerly awaiting the start of his match. “Ties That Bind” then cuts…
Alex:
Hey, you know who the fan’s don’t like? THIS guy! Listen to these people. I haven’t heard so many foul things screamed at someone since Halloween when I was 13 and went to south side of St. Louis...
Frank:
The hell they scream at you for?
Alex:
I was suppose to be a ghost, you see. But to some black guys I looked more like...well, you know.
Frank:
Oh...damn mooleys...
These lies are leading me astray its too much for me to stay
I don't wanna live this destiny it goes on endlessly
{ A Blue curtain of sparks rain from the entrance way as Majors comes rising from out of the floor }
I see you so please stay strong
I'll sing you one last song and then I'm gone
I don't wanna live this destiny it goes on endlessly
And we once also had a story too
you can see that good men only come in few.
{ Major slowly walks down to the ring staring blankly as he keeps his hands out as fan give him five. }
Even in our greatest moments we may win or we may lose
every song's got it's rules, you've got to learn to make it through.
Maybe one day we can choose how it feels to be a woman or a man
without rules but buried underneath there's a picture glued.
{ Majors slides under the rope and climbs to the top turnbuckle of one of the corners }
So when my body burns in ashes only sing the truth
Let these words strengthen all your views
because these words were meant for you.
{ Majors explodes of the corner landing one knee in the middle of the ring as the corners explode into blue flames }
These lies are leading me astray its too much for me to stay
I don't wanna live this destiny it goes on endlessly
Alex:
I wonder what would happen if he didn’t jump in time.
Frank:
He’d be a walking torch I reckon...
Alex:
I can hear it. “HALP! HALP! IM ADAM MAJORS AND IM ON FIIIIIIIRE!!! THIS FIRE BURNS!!!” Gives that song a WHOLE ‘NUTHER meaning!
Ref. Calloway draws both men to the center of the ring, clarifying match details with them. He then has them step back while he orders the bell to be rung. After the ring of the bell Majors and Chip begin circling each other. Chip suddenly stops and then looks at Majors with a smirk. He steps forward, and points right to his own chin ordering Majors to take the first shot. Majors gets a little irritated and swings but misses as Chip quickly steps back. The crowd all goes “OHHH!” As Chip laughs in Majors’ face. Majors steps back, looking around and nodding as he says “Okay...” The two begin to circle once more, and Chip feeling confident does the same thing, only this time instead of swinging Majors shoots for the legs, but quickly cuts up as he takes Chip by the left arm and flips him over-ARMBAR!!!! Chip begins kicking and fighting to get to the ropes or break the hold!
Frank:
Classic wrestling psychology! Chip got cocky, Majors made him pay for it.
Chip manages to inch over to the ropes where he gets his foot under them. The ref orders Majors to release him, and Majors does so. Both men get back on their feet, Chip favoring his left arm a little while Majors sets his sights on it, grinning from ear to ear. Majors looks to rush in and shoot on him again but Chip evades the attack. Chip begins backing up, raising his index and shaking it at him, ordering the ref to keep an eye on him. Chip goes to a near by corner, kneeling over while he holds his arm. Ref. Calloway orders Majors to stay back while he checks on him.
Alex:
Uh oh...Chip may have hurt his arm. I think the ref’s gonna check him...
Majors stands back, looking on with frustration. He tries to walk up and get a better view while the ref feels around Chip’s left arm. Eventually, Majors just walks up and says “Suck it up and get back to the match!” Ref. Calloway turns and orders Majors to back up, that’s when Chip pops up and begins mocking Majors with his “hurt” arm. He spins it, and swings it all around while smiling until the ref turns around, then he’s back kneeling in the corner holding it. Majors is furious. He comes charging forward, pushing the ref aside. But the ref won’t have it. He shoves Majors back and gets in his face, screaming at him to get the **** back before he has him dq’d. Chip suddenly comes out of the corner and spears Majors to the ground! The f ans almost go into a riot as they boo with disgust. Chip just stands over Majors smiling. He then looks at the ref and points to his arm, shrugging now that it’s suddenly better.
Alex:
Aw man brilliant! Chip was faking the entire time, and like a deadly viper, he waited for his moment to strike!
Frank:
He’s a damn coward! That’s the oldest trick in the book and I’m surprised Calloway didn’t catch it sooner!
Chip stands Majors up, holding him closely in a clinch. He shouts into Majors’ ear “STILL GONNA DISMANTLE THE KING, ADAM!? I THINK NOT!” Then pulls his head down and drives Adam’s head into the ground with a vicious ddt! Chip stands up, brushing his hair back as he walks back to the corner and kneels down, waiting for Majors. Majors slowly but surely begins to come around and get up. He’s on all fours when Chip comes running and does a drop kick right to his ribs! It sends Majors rolling out of the ring. He holds his ribs tightly, face beat red as he writhes in pain.
Alex:
OOH! Sickening thud to the outside as well!
Chip slides to the outside and grabs Majors, standing him up. Chip walks him over to the barricade and slams him face first! One fan shouts at Chip “You suck!” Chip looks over at them, glaring and then rips the soft drink from their hand, chugging it down and thrown whats left back in the fan’s face. But Majors is coming around now. He elbows Chip in the gut out of desperation and turns him around, then connects a reverse suplex-landing Chip on the barricade! Chip falls into the crowd holding his stomach and coughing heavily. Majors may have just bought some time! The ref’s count reaches seven, so Majors stumbles to the ring and rolls in, then back out to break the count. He begins to make his way back to the barricade when Chip pops up and climbs over. Majors makes use of Chip’s long hair, grabbing a handfull and socking him with in the mouth with his closed fist. The crowd loves it. Majors throws stiff shot after stiff shot, snapping Chip’s head back each and every time. Then he whips him right against the ring! Chip stumbles back into Majors who quickly lifts him up and delivers one hell of a german suplex! The sound of Chip’s skull making full contact with the floor almost echoes. Majors is relentless though. He keeps the hold, drags him back and does a release german suplex this time landing Chip belly first on the steps! A replay of Chip doing a full back flip and landing on the steps plays through while the crowd cheers on. Majors gets up, breathing heavily but eyes full of intensity, he walks over to Chip and stands him up, then rolls him into the ring. Majors slides in behind him, and covers. 1.....2......KICKOUT! Majors pops up and stomps around on Chip some. Then he turns to the crowd. He raises his right fist, signaling a finish coming up. They cheer with approval. He removes the straps on his singlet and steps around Chip, stalking him. Chip gets up on his knees, that’s when Majors takes him and locks his arms up, and puts his head down between his legs. FORGOTTEN IN-
Alex:
FORGET ABOUT IT!!!
Chip manages to flip Majors over his head, but Majors some how lands on his feet! As soon as Chip turns around, it’s a kick to the gut and he’s right back in the same position! But Chip gets free! Majors shoots and scoops him up for a big time spine bustTHE MARK OF AWESOMENNO!!!!! Majors shoves him away in time!!! Chip sits up and turns, Majors comes forward and then Chip rolls him up in a school boy, grabbing the ropes for leverage. The ref counts....1.....2.......3!!! He calls for the bell as Chip quickly leaves the ring, hunching over and breathing heavily. Majors sits up, eyes set on him. He then drives his fist into the mat and yells at Chip.
Frank:
What a close match. Majors almost had it, Alex. He almost had it! Damn Chip Horton had to use the ropes! I have a feeling this isn’t the last time we’ll see these two in action though.
Cameras open up backstage to a large blue door. The camera slowly raises up until inch by inch the name on the door is revealed to be “Ty Bahr”. The crowd can briefly be heard giving a sudden rising cheer as the door opens and the camera moves in. Bahr is sitting on his couch with a 12 pack at his side and guitar at hand. Maria sits across from him, smiling...not sure about what though. Bahr seems to be fiddling with the guitar’s tuning abit before he’s actually ready to play. He sits up right, gets his fingers positioned along the fret, then looks back at Maria.
Bahr:
You ready for this, darlin’? Cuz what I’m about to play for you can literally be compared to discovering Jesus H. Christ himself. It’s that sweet. Now...are ye’ ready? Awright’den.
Bahr begins plucking a few strings before going into an E power chord and jamming out. He looks up at her, smiling and rocking to the music a bit. Then he starts to belt out some vocals.
“There’s no more dinero...in Meh-Heeco! Just spicy food and alotta sombre-heh-ro’s! Well I thought...I seen it all...and then one day (one day)...They was’uh workin’ in my front lawn....right thur at the crack of daw-awn. When my baby asked what’s wraw-aw-ong...I said....there’s a messican on the front lawn....”
Maria’s eyes are wide open, and her smile is forced as forced can be. Bahr’s happy (and drunk) ass sets the guitar aside and leans forward.
Bahr:
Well, whadja think? I write it myself. Yep. I like to write music every now and then, ya know? Good for the, good for the soul and stuff.
Maria:
It was...great.
Bahr:
Yeah? I thought it was pretty good but, you really liked it? Well hot damn! I got another one for ya in that case!
Maria:
Oh that’s ok, I need to go get ready for my match. Thanks, buh-bye!
Bahr:
Aw but...aw....man! Women!
Frank Leary: Welcome back to Friday Night Blackout, brought to you by the biggest name in the industry today – Ultimate Wrestling Entertainment. We’ve got plenty more action to come on the show tonight including two more matches and some sort of circus entertainment… oh wait, I’m told that’s apparently supposed to be a match too. If you ask me there’s no place in wrestling f-
Alex King: Err Frank, nobody DID ask you.
Leary: Huh, oh – well I’m just saying that I’m a fan of tradition and I don't appeciate people f-
King: Forcing their opinions upon others? Each unto their own and besides… that isn’t coming up until much later. Right now we have something which has created somewhat of a buzz on message forums and columns all over the internet and has sparked a stir within the locker-room right here too, yes I’m sure you’ve all heard about it by now but in case you haven’t – Blackout has a new signing!
Leary: Yer, and we’re going to be finding out just who this mystery man – or woman if the Royal Rumble has sparked a bloody feminist revolution – is any minute now.
King: Yeah and it seems we’re not going to have to wait much longer.
Without warning the powerful arena lights dim rapidly, plunging the crowd and commentators alike into a murky cloak of greyness kept lively only by the sudden loud whirlwind of muttering which this unexpected change in atmosphere has triggered. The cascading chorus of whispering sweeps across the crowd like harsh wind on a winters day and is then abruptly cut short, or at least drowned out, by a blasting guitar chord that echoes throughout the arena; reverberating off the walls and thus magnifying in volume as it traverses the enclosed space. Then the vocals kick in sharply, a growling voice of contorted rage and provocation...
Can you feel it, see it, hear it today?
If you can't, then it doesn't matter anyway
You will never understand it 'cause it happens too fast
And it feels so good, it's like walking on glass
It's so cool, it's so hip, it's alright
It's so groovy, it's outta sight
You can touch it, smell it, taste it so sweet
But it makes no difference 'cause it knocks you off your feet
BAM! Blinding light erupts from all angles, every bulb in the arena is turned up to the maximum possible brightness and golden fireworks explode violently at the top of the entrance ramp. The sparks they send out light up the cloaked figure of a man who has now made his way out from the backstage area to stand, arms outstretched so as his body forms the shape of a cross, in the midst of the vivid pyrotechnics. Slowly, almost teasingly so, he takes on hand and lifts it up to the black hood which casts a dark shadow over his facial features and lowers it to reveal the identity which the crowd knew as soon as the music began. This is the face of a determined man, this is the face of a tortured soul, this is the face of Father Sanguine.
You want it all but you can't have it
It's cryin', bleedin', lying on the floor
So you lay down on it and you do it some more
You've got to share it, so you dare it
Then you bare it and you tear it
Taking carefully considered steps of equal distance each time, Sanguine begins to make his way down the ramp. His hands are clasped tightly together in front of him, held before his rapidly beating heart, in an almost prayer like gesture. The biblical imagery means little though, this man is neither Christian nor good natured – as will surely be seen when he reaches the ring. A few moments later, and he has indeed done just that. He paces slightly, basking under the warm glow of the blaring lighting, and then stops. Within seconds he is handed a live microphone by a ringside assistant; seconds later and he is talking into it in his cold, unquestionable tone.
Sanguine: I understand that you’re an impatient fragment of society, perhaps unable to comprehend the intricacies of any great detail I may tell you. So, for your own benefit, I will keep this short. I shall be blunt and to the point. Yes, I am the newest addition to the roster on this particular brand within Ultimate Wrestling Entertainment. I’m presuming there are three main questions in the heads of many of you right now and so I shall endeavour to answer them.
He raises a finger to his brow, wiping a trickle of sweat from his forehead – whether this droplet is the result of nerves or simply heat is unknown yet it is a sign of weakness all the same. Very unbefitting of the nature of the man in the centre of the ring, the man who is now speaking once again... the man who now has the ears of every single member of the audience.
Sanguine: Number one; why did I choose to join Blackout over Showdown?
A cheer, or is it a jeer?, from the audience.
Sanguine: Number two; what are my intentions now that I’ve returned to this company?
And another.
Sanguine: Number three; oh the all important lucky number three... have I still got what it takes to compete amongst the best?
A different reaction this time, very mixed with a negative response seemingly outweighing the affirmatives.
Sanguine: Firstly, as illogical as it may seem to the uneducated mind – the reason I decided to sign with Blackout over its competitor is purely instinct. A wise man once said that “Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out” and indeed he was right. My instinct told me Blackout weeks ago. Earlier today as I walked backstage, considering the web of thoughts intertwined within my mind, my head caught up.
Sanguine pauses long enough to give the crowd time to take this in, but not long enough for them to begin to discuss it.
Sanguine: This happens to bring me neatly onto the answer to question number two, what are my intentions now that I’m here? What is it I’m aiming to achieve? What are my goals? Well... I hate to enigmatic but there is a particular person on this roster who I have my sights locked firmly onto for reasons I shall not disclose. I intend to make sure that every single action I take from this point forth is meticulously designed to ensure that I take one step closer towards this accursedly marked individual. I may face this person next week, I may face them in a year’s time but eventually it will come to pass that I will stand victorious over their fallen, broken being in this very ring. You might not know from the start of it, but by the time I am done with the one – you will know that it was they whom I speak of today.
Another pause; this time merely to take a deep drawn out breath.
Sanguine: And last but not least, have I still got what it takes? A ridiculous question indeed and yet one which I’m sadly certain will be on the tips of many of your tongues. Ridiculous because ,no matter how much I offer my personal perspective - that being that I would not be here today if I did not feel I so, none of you will believe what I say until I have offered you visual proof. Watch next week, I will give you that proof... for now I must bid you goodnight.
With that Sanguine drops the microphone, with that the crowd erupt into a deafening unison of eager discussion and noise, with that... the scene fades.
Camera open up backstage with Duke walking through the halls, looking through some reports his talent scouts have sent him, when all of a sudden he bumps into James Jowers. Duke looks up muttering “What in the hay-ell....” then he see’s James. He stops, takes a good long look and then looks James in the eyes...
Tha’ Duke:
Yo’ ass is STILL here!? DAMN! I thought...I thought I fired you or something.
James just stares back at Duke, and then something seems to light up in him. His eyes almost burn, and part of him just wants to reach across and slap Duke.
Tha’ Duke:
Well don’t just stand there foo’! Go get me some coffee! Injury leave my ass! You’re fine! In fact, next week you’re gonna compete! Now, coffee, chop chop! Black. Two sugars, and some of that cinnamon sprinkley **** I see all them bitches in L.A. put on their whip cream in their coffee!
Duke turns away and continues on with his business, leaving James looking on furiously.
“Legs like that” hits the PA, getting an instant positive reaction from the UWE fans. Maria comes out in a red outfit, smiling and waving to all of her fans. She prances on down the ramp and into the ring.
Alex:
She’s undefeated.
Frank:
She’s the most innocent looking, vicious she-devil I’ve ever seen.
Alex:
She’ll break a man’s nose.
Frank:
She’ll whup that **** bird good.
Alex:
She’s over looked.
Frank:
Only until she murders a man three times her size in the ring. Maria, ladies and gentlemen! What else can we say?
Alex:
She’s my future wife.
Frank:
I prefer non-fiction. Dumb son of a ****.
Some generic song plays over the PA for Sean Martin due to the recession and the company cutting costs starting with the music of those who don’t even really matter. Sean walks out, scratching his head and looking around. He’s just confused as the viewers are about his music. He walks down, slowly. He looks around to the back and asks “REALLY!?” Before reaching the ring and sliding in. Calloway goes over the rules and what not, then looks at Sean and says “Good luck man, you’re gonna need it.” Sean looks at Maria for a moment, then at the ref, and then at the fans. He points at her and again says “REALLY!?” Because he doesn’t fully understand the hype behind the undefeated diva. She’s so small. So fragile looking. Sean begins to laugh as he approaches her. He looks down and says “We don’t have to do this...there are OTHER things we could be doing instead” Maria bats her eye lashes and smiles. “Really? Like what?” Then she snatches the index finger he was pointing with and snaps it mid-finger, making the bone poke through. Sean jumps back screaming as his finger dangles in the air.
Frank:
JESUS!
Maria sneaks up behind him and when he turns around she quickly grabs his left arm, pulls him over and locks the arm in, then twists it making the bone crack snapple, and pop at the shoulder. Sean screams in even more pain as the crowd covers their eyes. Maria stands over him, smiling from ear to ear and bats her eye lashes again, then kicks him in the face and covers him. 1! 2! 3! The crowd goes wild as Maria stands with her hand raised. Meanwhile Calloway looks at the bloodied and broken Sean Martin and says “Holy ****...” before calling EMT’s down. Maria turns to Sean and blows him a kiss before she too leaves the ring.
Hurricane Jane begins blasting over the PA system as Fervor Falls emerges from behind the curtain along with his girlfriend and manager, Ms. Dawson. Fervor is clad in his typical backstage attire consisting of gold aviator shades, gold chain, orange leather jacket with grey stripes on the arms and chest, black skinny jeans and a pair of grey, orange, and gold Vans. To his right and walking slightly in front of Fervor, Ms. Dawson is clad in all white with a white “earth mother” headband holding back her long brown hair, white hoop earrings, a white pearl necklace, a white, semi-see through shirt with a white bra underneath accompanied by an open white leather jacket, super tight white leather pants and white two inch, open toed heels. The two are near polar opposites in demeanor, Ms. Dawson calm and collected while Fervor seems incensed by something or another and he is already shouting at the audience about himself. One would think that neither Fervor Falls nor Desiree Dawson even notice each other were it not so damned impossible to achieve.
Desiree's eyes remain focused on the ring while Fervor's are anything but as he continues yelling obscenities at the fans for seemingly no reason, his eyes wandering throughout the filled chairs in the audience. Suddenly, Fervor veers off of his course for the ring and heads directly to the guardrail before shouting directly in the face of a lady who didn't seem to expect this at all. The camera manages to pick up something about “low life”, “I'm **** amazing”, “****”, and “deal with it”. The lady's eyes begin blinking uncontrollably as she's berated by Fervor Falls. The man sitting next to her, her husband it appears, tries to intervene and come to his woman's defense, but is shut down when Fervor now points his finger in the man's face and releases a series of swears that would leave a sailor calling for censorship rulings. With the couple now thoroughly embarrassed, Fervor gets a grin on his face, nodding at them and saying something about his size 15 shoes. Fervor turns to notice Ms. Dawson is already in the ring with a microphone, calling for the music to cut off. Fervor picks up his pace and runs to the ring before sliding in, bouncing to his feet, and promptly punting the bottom rope while shouting at the top of his lungs “...so you can **** bite me HBO!” as the music dies down.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” begins Ms. Dawson, “it's about time to pay attention to what you're seeing, because the man before you right now is 'The Desire' Fervor Falls, and we're here right now to put the entire Blackout roster on notice. It already hasn't been easy to get ahead around here. The roster just got thicker, the competition just got stiffer...”
“That's what she said,” interrupts Fervor Falls, looking his girlfriend up and down and pointing at her, as she is the target of his... let's just call it a statement. Desiree doesn't even react, though. As if she was one of the one people who didn't hear what Fervor just shouted.
“And it's going to be much more difficult to find your footing here on Blackout if you don't have desire like Fervor Falls.”
“That's damn right!” exclaims Fervor, who loudly requested, and received, a microphone while Desiree Dawson was talking. “And, really, in my first week of being in UWE I've noticed just how much Showdown **** sucks. And they suck because I'm not there. Granted, they sucked before, but now they're just downright shitty compared to Blackout. Seriously, whoever the monkeys are that run the show over there need to just give it up. You split the brands and look what happens. They used to be the premier show, now they suck ass.”
“I know I've seen more entertaining shows than Showdown. A lot of shows that I never thought would be entertaining suddenly became so when I watched Showdown for the first time.”
“Remember that episode of Barney we were watching the other day, Desiree?” Desiree responds by nodding her head yes, to which Fervor slightly chuckles. “Now that I think about it, I want to go on that show and rip off Barney's mask and beat him unconscious... but even that **** had Showdown beat. I watched paint dry for the first time because Showdown was just so goddamn boring.” Fervor, pauses for the most miniscule of moments as he shakes his head in disappointment. An irritated squinting of his eyes follows as he slightly smirks out of frustration. His grip on the microphone tightens before he shouts full force into the microphone, startling everybody but Desiree Dawson, who can already tell what's coming up next. Calmly, she motions for Fervor to stop before he starts, but he looks at her, considering the action before denouncing it completely. Now Ms. Dawson reaches for the microphone, but Fervor walks away before shouting one more time into the microphone, again making many in the audience jump in their seats.
Again, Desiree Dawson tries to stop “The Desire” Fervor Falls from embarking on the quest he seems intent on, speaking into the microphone and telling him “Fervor, we've said enough honey. Let's talk about something else. Let's tell them how great you are, let them hear about your credentials.”
“But then came that **** up Royal Rumble. That God-awful Royal Rumble,” continues Fervor, talking over Ms. Dawson as she tries to steer his speech in a different direction. “At the **** Royal Rumble we witnessed the worst **** ever.” At this time, Ms. Dawson decides to exit the ring and return to the back. She is not going to stick around for whatever it is that Fervor is about to say as she obviously doesn't agree with it.
“And that **** that we all saw was a Showdown superstar winning the Royal Rumble! That makes my goddamn blood boil, I'll tell you, but the way it happened was the worst. You know why? A **** Showdown mut eliminated a supposed Blackout thoroughbred to pick up the win!” Fervor Falls, in a flash of irate fury, slams his microphone down to the mat, rendering the microphone useless as it completely comes apart upon impact. Fervor, now on a complete tirade, rolls out of the ring and stalks his way over to the announce table before grabbing Alex King by his shirt with both hands and flinging him headlong over the table. Frank Leary, now with his hands up as he sits, frozen, in his chair, is met with the furious eyes of Fervor Falls for a mere second before Fervor turns his attention to the chair vacated by Alex King's involuntary absence. Fervor grabs the chair and slams it closed, giving Frank Leary another glare, to which Leary responds by holding his breath, his eyes wide for fear of what might happen to him. Instead, though, Fervor turns and walks toward the ring, stepping over Alex King's prostrate and wounded carcass before rushing forward, each hand holding a respective leg of the chair. Cocking his entire body backward, Fervor recoils like a spring and swing the chair with full force, folding it over the ring post like a piece of paper in the hands of an origami artist. The sound of the impact resembles that of a fire cracker on the now past 4th of July and seems to jar Alex King awake as he now orders that the bell keeper relinquish his chair so that King can sit again at his usual post.
Fervor falls drops the chair and orders another microphone from a stagehand as he slides back into the ring. All the while, as Fervor waits for the microphone, he is yelling at the top of his lungs something entirely incomprehensible. However, as the microphone gets to him, he Fervor can audibly be heard shouting “I'm pissed! What a **** up! I'm so bitchin' pissed!”
“That mother fucker Stoner, man... he's such a **** burnt out failure! Not only is he a pot head, but he's a really big **** let down! That **** guy lasts through 28 eliminations just to be the 29th guy to get eliminated. I mean, talk about your **** let down. I don't even know what the **** the guy is doing wrestling if all he's going to do is ruin Blackout's reputation.
It was our chance Stoner, you jackass! That was our chance right there to show the entire world, without a shadow of a doubt, that Showdown wasn't fit to lick our boots, but now they look like they deserve to eat our **** cornflakes, goddamn it you loser, pot burning piece of ****.... you know what? Come to think of it, why do we even need Stoner in the UWE at all. That guy should be on some lower level regional, backyard bullshit with how much he fucks up. Hell, he's a hillbilly, redneck, inbred bastard's dream. Maybe he should stay there and stop-"
Who's gonna teach you how to dance?
The fans, happy now that someone has come to end the tirade of Doom, are on their feet and ecstatic as Stoner walks out from backstage wearing a black T-Shirt with the words Mighty Thor across his chest, the **** Title around his waist and a microphone hanging out of his pocket.. He takes his sweet ass time making his way to the ring, clapping hands with a few of the fans and rolling in under the bottom rope, walking straight to a corner and taking a seat at the top rope.
"Sorry it took me so long. Nate had me on the phone telling me that the guy beating up the commentator was a prime example of why he refuses to make a public appearance. And then he tells me that the poor Alex over there is getting the Spit kicked out of him because of me."
Stoner's eyes squint a little more than usual.
"So now it turns out that the example of why Nathan can't come grace these people with his kick tush presence is only an example because he has some so called grudge with me for coming in second in the Rumble."
Stoner rubs his genius chin for a moment, working the math over in his head. The moment it makes sense becomes apparent as his smile comes back.
"So... What is this.. A challenge? You're challenging me, UWE **** Champion, winner of the first ever Blackout Main Event, Entered Second into the Rumble and took second mother loving place, not to mention the other plethora of accomplishments I've made that I like to point out every other chance I get..."
He chuckles. There's a lot on the list. Some of it doesn't even make sense sometimes.
"Brother, lemme tell you, facing off with me is a whole other experience from facing an off-guard commentator who's probably never been trained to face guys like you and me. Its like comparing apples and dildos, and no that wasn't a brain filter."
Stoner hops off the turnbuckle and walks over to Fervor. He gets all close-like, that cocky smile and not-quite-there look in his eye.
"Tell you what. When you got more to your credit than sharing a name with a Magic card, come see me and I'll see where I can pencil you in. I'm about to be a busy guy around here I think, and I don't want you... You know.."
He draws it out, letting the suspense build a little bit. Fervor looks pissed, getting angrier by the second as he visually looks ready to explode on the pot-head.
"What? Don't want me to what?"
Stoner looks away a second, obviously not wanting to say it. He looks back up, straight into Fervor's eyes.
"I don't want you to come out looking like a jobber when you end up fodder in some warm up match or something."
Fervor's attitude makes a 180 degree turn, or at least his way of presenting himself. He's probably still really angry. He rolls out under the bottom rope and makes his way backstage as Stoner's music plays and he checks on Alex and we fade to something else.
“Stronger” by Kanye West hits and the crowd pop. The song reaches crescendo as Quentin Barnes makes his way out onto the ramp. He walks from one side of the ramp to the other pumping up the crowd before heading down the ramp stopping half way. He throws his hand up in the air as pyro fires before sliding back into the ring. He climbs to his feet and walks to the far corner, climbing the turnbuckle he raises his hands again before dropping into the ring and preparing for the match.
Frank:
the hell do you call THAT!?!
Alex:
What?
Frank:
That music...
Alex:
It’s Stronger, by Kanye.
Frank:
Who?
Alex:
Kanye West...you know...
Frank:
No, I don’t. What’s a man from Texas doing coming out to THAT!?
Alex:
Oh shaddup, cranky old bastard!
The lights quickly cut to black, and there is nothing but the small flicker of flame from lighters in the audience. A startling drum beat is heard throughout the PA system, followed by a voice proclaiming
"We put this festival on you bastards
With a lotta love
We worked for one year for you pigs
And you wanna break our walls down
And you wanna destroy us
Well you go to hell!"
As "Hell" cuts out, it's replaced by the familiar twang of rhythm guitar from "Fuckin' in the Bushes" by Oasis. The lights over the entrance way begin to flicker on and off repeatedly, manipulating the world into a series of still shots. We see a figure image from behind the curtain, wearing a black zip-up hoodie with the hood pulled up along with his ring attire. He keeps the hoodie low over his face as he surveys the crowd tonight before walking down the ramp and towards the steel steps. He then quickly jogs up the steps and onto the second turnbuckle, where he poses for the fans in a familiar crucifix position. He then jumps over the turnbuckles and lands firmly in the corner. He walks to the middle of the ring, pauses for a moment, and then lifts the hood to reveal Scott Reave with a ****-eating grin. He then shuffles on over to his corner, where he pulls off the hoodie and leans into the turnbuckle, the lights come up and the music fades as he leans there, awaiting the ring of a bell.
Frank:
Well, let’s see how this drug addicted bastard’s second run in UWE goes...
Alex:
Man, you’re in a mood now, aren’t you.
Frank:
You shutcher’ damn mouth and call this match.
Quentin and Scott stand opposite of each other, with Quentin towering over Scott and looking down at him. Ref. Calloway calls for the bell, and the giant Quentin Barnes quickly reaches out to grab Scott. But Scott is swift, and dodges him. Scott comes back with a quick kick to Quentin’s thigh. Quentin turns and swings but misses completely. Now Scott’s dancing around him, mocking him. At first Quentin makes the attempt to follow him. Then he stops and just stands still, shaking his head. Scott stops in front of him and goes “awww what’s wrong?” BOOT TO THE FUCKIN FACE! Quentin boots Scott like there’s no tomorrow and damn near knocks Scott out of the ring! Scott spills down the ropes and into the mat, propping himself up with his eyes as wide as can be, trying to shake the cob webs out. The crowd loves it! Quentin reaches down and grabs Scott up, raising him off the ground with ease, but Scott escapes by elbowing him right in the nose!
Alex:
That Scott Reave...he’s an evil bastard I hear.
Frank:
I hear he’s a crack addict and has no business working for UWE.
Alex:
Yeah...that too.
Scott lands down on his feet and circles Barnes, then quickly moves in, kicking at the back of the knee to bring Barnes down to a knee. He runs ahead of Barnes into the ropes and bounces back, coming back at Barnes and then kicks him in the face, knocking Barnes down to the flat of his back. Barnes is looking up at the ceiling now as Scott Reave takes Barnes’ right arm and goes for a-NO! Barnes yanks the feet right out from under Scott and begins to get up. Scott gets away rather quickly and gets back to his feet while Barnes is back on his as well. Scott Reaves comes charging at Barnes but when Barnes goes to catch him, Scott drops and slides through his legs then comes leaping up connecting a neck breaker on Barnes! Scott covers! 1...2....POWERFUL KICK OUT!!! Barnes throws Scott right off of him. Barnes goes to get up and Scott comes running in again, this time kicking his elbow in! Barnes drops back down and begins to roll around in pain while Scott looks into the camera and says “You’re ****”.
Alex:
Is that the name of the move?
Frank:
Back in my day it was just called a kick to the elbow. Or kicking a man while he’s down...Now they got a name for everything...
Again Scott takes to the ropes, looking to keep Barnes off of his feet. Scott is running at Barnes for the-BARNES HITS A SPINEBUSTER!!! Barnes manages to find his feet quickly and catches Scott with his right arm (his good arm, now) and plants him! The impact rattles the ring! He covers! ONE! TWO! THRENO! Scott’s foot is under the ropes. Barnes looks at up, pissed as can be and then he sits up and drives his elbow down into the knee cap of Reave. He stands up, dragging Reave by the head of his hair and pulls him up, hooking his arms now. THE BARNES STORM!!!! NOW, he covers again, this time counting with the ref ONE! TWO! THREE!!! The bell rings signaling that it’s all over. Quentin Barnes stands up with his hand held high and the fans cheering him.
Alex:
Well, he’s not too bad.
Frank:
Nope, and the druggy may be gone again. Who knows.
The camera opens back up to Duke’s office as he sits behind his desk, again with the pearly white smile he’s become known for.
Tha Duke:
What a match, huh? What a night! But there was something I forgot to mention earlier when I was out. Blackout’s getting a NEW title. And next week, you will see THREE titles on the line. I’m calling it...”The Hamilton Special” Your welcome! And now, I, Duke Hamilton present to you our main event...
FIGHT THE POWER!!
Allen Marrow jumps out from behind the curtain as ‘Fight the Power’ by Public Enemy hits the PA. Allen hops off the stage, holding the Triple Crown Championship in his left hand as he brings a cigar to his lips and lights it with a lighter.
Elvis was a hero to most
But he never meant **** to me you see
Straight up racist that sucker was
Simple and plain
Motherfuck him and John Wayne
With the smoke pouring out of his mouth Allen strolls lazily down the ramp on his way to the ring. Allen takes a long inhale, before spinning around and exhaling a cloud of smoke into the air. Finally, Allen rolls into the ring, making various nonsensical hand gestures as he stands on the middle turnbuckle facing out over the crowd, which cheers loudly at their new Triple Crown Champion.
“AL-LEN MAR-ROW!”
“AL-LEN MAR-ROW!”
“AL-LEN MAR-ROW!”
Frank: “Listen to this crowd, Alex! Firmly behind our Triple Crown Champion.”
Alex: “Whatever Frank, last week they were ready to lynch him, and now they love him? And why? Because he stole that Triple Crown Championship from Edward Laurent?”
Frank: “It’s not like that piece of **** Laurent earned it either. It was literally handed to him by Duke Hamilton. Allen only took an opportunity that was right it front of him”
Allen gets a microphone tossed to him as he paces back to the center of the ring.
Allen: “That’s right all you motherfuckers, Allen **** Marrow is at the top of the food chain. After five years in this business, kicking out form regional promotion to regional promotion, raking barely enough money to pay for gas to get to the Main Event… I am the best in the world, and I got the Triple Crown Championship to prove it!”
He holds the Triple Crown Championship high in the air above his head for everyone to see, to a second massive pop.
Alex: “I hate these people more and more every goddamn day.”
Frank: “Just because he humiliated that piece of **** Laurent, doesn’t mean you have to be a **** too.”
Allen: “And all I gotta say about that, is thank you Tony Daniels, for showing up when you did, and not thinking to pay the **** attention to the guy you should of known was waiting in the wings by Laurent’s side. So hell yes I Jihaded you right the **** out of your shoes and stole your money in the bank contract, and cashed that motherfuckers in! I got something I gotta say to Edward Laurent. What? You really thought I was just gonna sit back and protect your ass from anyone that tried to beat you? You really thought I was just gonna be your number two while you used me to keep this gold around your waist? For a self-proclaimed master of manipulation you sure are a stupid ****. And now I hear you walking out of UWE!? You really are the **** everyone said you are! While you’re crying on your plane back to England, you’re gonna be seeing the same thing over and over again. Me, going through your spoiled punkass with a Jihad, and taking my goddamn Championship from you.”
Alex: “An admitted thief! And these fans are just cheering away like he’s not a damn criminal!”
Frank: “All’s fair in pursuit of that Triple Crown Championship, Alex.”
Allen: “But Laurent’s pissy walk out and homecoming cry isn’t important now. What’s important is that WrestleMania is on the way, and we only got a few weeks before it the biggest UWE event of the year happens. I am going into WrestleMania as the Triple Crown Champion, and that is exactly how I’m going to leave. Now I know, that because Scylla won the Royal Rumble, that ShownDown has the Main Event of WrestleMania, but that won’t mean **** when I walk out of my match as the Triple Crown Champion, with a performance so unforgettable, that it will make whatever ShowDown follows it with look like absolute ****.”
The Blackout crowd cheers loudly at this pronouncement, as Allen continues.
Allen: “Only question now, who is going to step up an challenge me? I don’t know yet, and I really don’t care either. Whoever it is, is just gonna end up getting scrapped off my boot after WrestleMania. But hell, anybody on Blackout thinks they got what it takes to step up to me at WrestleMania… I ain’t hard to find.”
Allen Marrow drops the microphone on the mat to a massive pop as ‘Fight the Power’ hits the PA again, and he makes his way out of the ring and back up the ramp.
Frank: “What a statement from our Triple Crown Champion, throwing down the gauntlet to anyone that thinks themselves a championship contender for WrestleMania!”
Alex: “Whoever it is better kill him quick, cause I cannot take more of that black motherfuckers having gold that’s not in his teeth.”
David “Stoner” Hilm and Tony Daniels are standing in the center of the UWE Blackout ring, each with a podium in front of them as they look at the camera. They both seem to be talking pretty calmly, and as Alex King steps in the ring to join them they include him like he’d been a part of it the whole time.
Alex informs the two of something* something to them and they both get serious, neither saying anything to the other. Alex brings the microphone up and begins to explain the rules of the match.
“Ok. Here we go. I can’t believe this but here on Blackout, is the first ever Pokemon Battle Challenge!”
Tony and Stoner both raise an arm in the air for victory while the crowd gives a pop, going with the flow.
“Guys, this is gonna be a three on three battle. I know you each have six Pokemans, at least, but for the love of God you only get to use three. Anyway, that’s pretty much the only rule. Let the strongest Pokemon win. Or whatever.”
Daniels and Stoner glare at one another as Alex gets out of the ring and sits at ringside.
Frank - “Well Alex, these two are both very strong competitors in the ring, so we can only imagine what they do in their spare time raising these Pokemon.”
Alex - “I… I just don’t even know what to say about this battle. I know Stoner said something about a roulette, but which one of them put Pokemon on the list?”
Frank - “I’m told it appeared twice actually.”
Alex - “For the love of Christ…”
The titantron quits showing the two in the ring and suddenly warms up to Pokemon Stadium 2. The fans give a loud cheer, the good majority of them apparently being heavily drunk. **** it, we’re on HBO.
Frank - “Both of them will have access to any of their six, in order to make it more of a guessing game for their opponent, but they can only use three for the purposes of this fight.”
Alex - “This is not a fight.”
Frank - “Now, knowing what we know about these two in the ring Alex, what do you think we can expect from them in this fight here.”
Alex - “What?”
As the fight starts, each player throws out a Pokemon in glorious Titantron awesomeness. From Daniels we get the powerhouse Snorlax!
Frank - “Daniel’s level 100 Snorlax has an amazing amount of HP and Defense. And being a Normal type it means the only thing its weak against is Fighting.”
Alex - “What the ****? Are you being told what to say? Are my headphones not working or something?”
And from Stoner we get… Pikachu.
Frank - “Wow! He’s starting with Thor, which for some reason is only level 1, as opposed to the level 100 Snorlax across the way!”
Alex - “Maybe there is a hope for Stoner yet…”
Each man picks a move, and Snorlax of course goes first and hit’s the Pikachu with a mighty powerful Hyperbeam Attack killing the Pikach-
Focus Sash saves Thor with 1 HP.
Daniels stares wide eyed and in amazement. Stoner is laughing, apparently having been waiting for this moment.
Frank - “Well, Thor is at 1 HP, but I can’t see how effective that would be. The Snorlax is just way too strong.
Thor uses Endeavor
Daniels - “GOD DAMMIT STONER!”
Stoner is rolling on the ground laughing as the Snorlax is lowered down to 1 HP, the same amount of HP as Thor.
Frank - “That was an amazing move by Stoner. And just wait until you see whats going to happen next.”
Alex - “Why do you know whats going to happen next!”
Daniels doesn’t even bother to look at the Titantron as Snorlax can’t do anything, having to recharge as a result of using the Hyperbeam attack. Thor uses Volt Tackle, a move with recoil damage which takes out Thor as well as a result of using the move. Stoner is laughing as the two select their next Pokemon.
Alex - “So Stoner just wanted to try and end the first part as fast as he could, or what?”
Frank - “Either that or he assumed Tony was going to start with something very powerful, and wanted to be sure he could take it out easily.”
Daniels comes out next with a level 100 Blastoise, smirking and wondering what Stoner’s next move will be. He gives Daniels a thumbs up and sends out a level 100 Venusaur.
Frank - “This looks like it will be another problem for Daniels. Stoner seems to know what Daniels is going to use before he does it, and these two might have fought each other in the past.”
Alex - “Yeah. Fought in a childrens video game.”
Veusaur absorbs sunlight.
Dep looks a little nervous.
Frank - “Stoner is charging the move SolarBeam, which is a very powerful move in its own right, but its Super Effective against Daniels’ Blastoise.”
Alex - “Yeah.”
The Blastoise uses Ice Beam on the Venusaur, and now its Stoner’s turn for his eyes to go wide. He watches his HP drop from the super effective move and keeps an eye on the number, watching as it gets all the way down to double digits.
Frank - “Stoner almost lost it there, his Venusaur is in bad shape.”
The next turn, Venusaur lets loose with the SolarBeam, dropping Daniels’ Blastoise in one hit. Daniels rolls his eyes, waiting to get his next Pokemon out. Stoner turns and makes eye contact with Daniels, staring at him and wondering what he’s going to choose next. Daniels makes his selection and faces Stoner, a smirk of his own having formed.
Frank - “Oh my god! Tony just summoned Lugia, one of the most powerful Pokemon there are!”
Alex - “I don’t know either folks.”
The crowd is louder than ever now as the Lugia kills the Venusaur with Wing Attack, super effective against the Grass type. Stoner laughes and selects his next Pokemon, Mewtwo.
Frank - “Wow. With the exception of Stoner’s level 1 Thor, this has been a fight between nothing but level 100s. And now we’re seeing Lugia and Mewtwo, two of the most powerful, rarest and hardest to train Pokemon about to duke it out right here on UWE Blackout! In the Main Event no less!”
Alex - “…”
The Titantron begins to flicker, and a fog descends over the crowd. Two voices, one male and one female, come through the speakers all over the arena.
Female - “Prepare for trouble!”
Male - “And make it double.”
Alex - “That’s it. Now I wanna blow my brains out.”
Female - “To protect the world from devestation.”
Male - “To unite all peoples within our nation.”
The screen now shows both of them backstage, the female with long red hair down to her ankles and the male with shoulder length hair and a rose in his hand. Both of them wear white outfits with an R on the chest. They stand back to back on the screen, smug looks on each of their faces. They both look up at the camera and begin to walk towards the arena, Stoner and Daniels both looking a little worried.
Female - “To denounce the evils of truth and love.”
Male - “To extend our reach to the stars above.”
They keep their smiles as they emerge from the curtain and begin to walk down the ramp, microphones in their hands.
Female - “Jesse.”
Male - “James.”
They walk up the steps and into the ring face to face with Stoner and Daniels.
Jesse - “Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light.”
James - “Surrender now or prepare to fight.”
James tosses his microphone to Stoner.
Stoner - “You’re not here for Thor, are you?”**
The two laugh, making Stoner do his own little nervous laugh, along with a knowing laugh from the crowd at the joke.
Jesse - “Nothing so short sighted, I promise.”
James - “You have lots of strong and high level pokemon, why would we stop with just your Thor?”
Daniels - “Because you.. Well you gotta beat us first.”
Stoner - “In a 2 on 2 battle no less. Each of us will use our final Pokemon and you both can use whatever the hell it is you wanna use.”
Team Rocket laughs loudly at the challenge, for a good number of seconds no less. They look at each other for a few moments before finally agreeing. The Titantron shifts to a new battle screen, the Lugia and the Mewtwo both already on the field. Two more Pokeballs appear and from them emerges a Weezing and an Arbok.
Frank - “Well this… This doesn’t make any sense. Both of Team Rocket’s Pokemon are very very weak against, what I just noticed is named MewhWo, and the Lugia.”
Alex - “What the hell is hWo?”
Stoner raises a fist to the air.
Stoner - “hWo!!!”
“Raise Hell” by Hed P.E. blares out through the speakers and Duke walks out from Backstage, a very serious, very angry look on his face. Stoner and Daniels look at one another with worry, then at Team Rocket and give them a hand signal to calm down, this part apparently not having been a part of their plan.
As Duke gets in the ring he glares at the Team Rocket group before staring long and hard at his Blackout superstars. He holds a hand in the air to cut the music before bring a mic to his mouth.
Duke - “Alright motha fuckers, listen to this. Here on Blackout, I don’t know if its been run by your dumb asses, but we’re on HBO. We’re allowed to do, pretty much, whatever the **** we want. Now, Stoner, I would expect this kinda **** from you. I can’t really be to mad at you for this alone. But then I remember how bad ya **** up at the Rumble, and I realize just how thin of ice you’re really walking on here.”
He turns to Daniels.
Duke - “And you.. I don’t even know what the **** to say to you.”
He looks at Team Rocket, pointing at them.
Duke - “And what the **** is with this? Why are they out here?”
Stoner steps forward.
Stoner - “They’re friends of mine. Me and Tony wanted to put on something entertaining here with all this, since you put us in the Main Event and all. Hell even Frank was in on it. He told us he knew a little bit from his grandkids, and we gave him a script to go with. I bet Alex was pissed.”
Frank can be heard laughing.
Duke - “You mentioned I put this in the Main Event I noticed. Which means you did notice I put you in the Main Event. Now just why would I go and do a damn thing like that do you think?”
Daniels - “Because we’re entertaining?”
Duke - “Yeah, when you fight dumbass. You know what? Finish this. Now. And you know what? I don‘t wanna be near you fools.”
Duke steps behind Team Rocket, making a point to stay away from Stoner and Daniels who both turn back to the podium and begin to select their moves. Stoner looks at Duke, a light switch having turned on in his head.
Stoner - “Duke, I know you’re all mad and stuff, and I’m just sayin-”
Duke - “Say it God Dammit.”
Stoner - “You don’t wanna stand there.”
Duke’s eyes get wide out of **** offery.
Duke - “Mother fucker are you telling me where to stand in my own ring?”
Daniels - “No but part of the plan for this was we’d beat Team Rocket an-”
Duke - “So you planned who would win before hand? What the **** do you think this is?”
Stoner - “Not implying anything but the plan was to-”
Duke - “Just push the button and finish this.”
Stoner - “Duke serious-”
Duke - “If you don’t push that button I swear to God I will send you over to Showdown.”
Without another moments hesitation Stoner turns and pushes the button to do his move to the opposing Pokemon.
Lugia uses Psychic on enemy Arbok. Its super effective! Enemy Arbok FAINTS.
Stoner looks at Duke, his eyes giving off that sincere “Dude you wanna move” look. Duke points at the Titantron to send his attention back that way.
MewhWo uses Psycho Cut on enemy Weezing. Its super effective! Critical hit! Enemy Weezing FAINTS!
Stoner and Tony Daniels win the battle!
Stoner and Daniels look at one another nervously.
Duke - “And is this the part where you turn and shake ha-”
An explosion rocks the arena. Not one that levels the arena, that’d be overboard. But the ring… The ring wont be being used again. Not this one anyway, not after this. A sound clip plays through the speakers-
“Team Rocket’s BLASTING OFF AGAIIIIIIIIN… *Ding*”
Duke, standing on the section of the ring Team Rocket had been standing on, is now on his ass on the ground, where the ring was moments before. He climbs to his feet, looking at Stoner and Daniels with a fury that can only be matched by a midget losing a race to someone driving a “Mini Cooper.” He brushes some dust and dirt before walking up the now-a-ramp of a ring to get face to face with the scared and very worried for their jobs Stoner and Daniels. A smile forms, one that doesn’t bode well for either of the two men in his field of vision as he turns and makes his way back up the ramp and Blackout fades away until next week bitches.
----------------------------------
*He told them they were on air.
** The inside joke is that Team Rocket is always after the main character of the show’s Pikachu.
